You are not beautiful. You are beyond that.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010 ; 5:25 PM

heyy. phew. school..still as boring. ._.

well, just went to wugui's house to do some boxing. haha. punching bag. now my knuckles hurts. but..yeah..i feel more relieved.

kinda vexed today. nah. not kinda. should be uber vexed today. don't know why.

won't complain much here. just wanna say one thing.

hey. every human has a limit to his/her patience. i have mine too. and don't push it. cos the limit is not far away. i've been trying to increase the maximum point of my "patience bar"..and it has significantly increased. but that doesn't mean you can keep on pushing my patience you get it? don't explode my bar. you wouldn't like it. i wouldn't like it. you gotta do something to what you're doing man. i can't carry on like this. i'm losing my patience..but...nevertheless..i'll try to increase the "bar"..but..let me tell you this..this can't go on forever. one day, the limit will be reached. so..don't push it.

- To YOU -

I hope you're coping well. but..by the looks of it..you aren't. well, i guess no matter how much help i offer, i won't be much of a help. so..yeah..no choice.

hahhas. i guess we're still at the.."you look me, i look you" stage. ._.

but..yeah...you're sweet. i like that. cos..you ain't like that last time. but you are also making me kinda confused you see. i..i don't know how to put it here..but..yeah..i guess we're okay. well at least i am. i think.

I hope you are too though. cos..yeah..i can't stop worrying. i think we should move on. don't you think so? yeah. i know it's hard for you to take the first step..but..it's hard for me too. i may not look so..but it is. let me give you a hand yeah? haha. i'm sure the first step wouldn't be so hard.

it may be hard lah. but not THAT hard. i'm sure we can. yeah?

haha. i love your " look, turn away, look down, look away" then " look, turn away, look down, look away " action. it just repeats itself. haha. your own signature move. it's cute. really cute. maybe..the "look" phase should be longer a bit. hahaha.

yeah. that's all. bye people. homework time.

i need some ointment for my knuckles. ._.

Friday, January 1, 2010 ; 9:21 PM

sigh. 2010. 2+ more days to school reopen. BORING. what's on the menu? focus studies.., focus studies..and..wow..focus studies.
lol. some disturbing news too. i didnt know dogs could get awards! WHAT A DISCOVERY! SHOULD I GET THE OUTSTANDING DISCOVERY AWARD?! wahaha.
results good..cca good. i don't object to that. but...attitude good? EAT MY SHIT.
nobody thinks you're qualified dude. you realised something? YOU GOT NO FRIENDS YOU DOG! who wants to be a friend of someone who stinks? who wants to be a friend of someone who doesn't treasure who don't appreciate his/her friends?
apparently.., EVERYBODY FREAKING DISLIKES YOU!! even somebody who is almost neutral, who is happy-go-lucky and doesn't even get angry with anything we do to him DISLIKES YOU! GET THIS FACT YOU FARKER. you can't achieve anything without friends. probably you can. SO WHAT? you are still a lonely idiot with no friends. even girls dislike you. OMFG?! can't believe it. i thought only we were the ones who felt like this. didn't know others feel so too! HAHA. YOU SUCK!
accept it motherfucker, you can't do what i can do. you can't joke. you can't be as cool. you can't talk as well. you don't even have a sense of fashion. and you stink! do you bathe in sulphur? LOL!
OH. BY THE WAY..can you do something to that hair? HAHA.
motherfucker hairdo? xD you know who you are..i won't name who. wahaha. just stating facts and information collected by various sources who denies to be named. xP

PHEWWWW. so much better. sorry for the beautiful words. haha.
happy new year yeah peeps? haha.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 ; 10:44 AM

I'M BACKKKK~~
lol. after so long. yeah. super lazy. been hmwking, advancing, resting and building up.
wahaha. ps lahh. nvr update..must understand. xD.
okay..basically, holidays been kinda..boring. yet..fun. boring..cos..homework. fun..cos camps. haha.
went for several camps. hmm. ncc camp. camp pinnacle. yeah. and also japan trip. then had OCMC meetings. shan't comment about that. -.-
well, many people made my days. haha. you know, i know. XD.
oooh! btw..check out my face book yeah peeps? more active over that side. blog...maybe come back once in a few weeks? haha.
sighhh. school is reopening in 6 days...NOO. o levels. shucks.
needa see my FAVOURITE teacher. -.-
miss.....***
sobbbbb. BORING! >.<"
i can't seem to fix my music player. lol. ps ah. i'm trying to get the music back on. it's kinda boring isn't it? lol. but..please..continue tagging..haha. thanks! i'll come back frequently to reply your tags but i won't come back frequently to post. LOL. must have the FEEL. then can post. haha.
okay bah. wish all of you a belated merry christmas and an early happy new year!
haha. see y'all when school reopens yeah?
BYEBYE~

Labels: yay. i posted. now it's your turn. wahahahaha. xD.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 ; 3:44 PM

hey peeps~~
will be off to japan from 12th november to 19th november. yeah.
taking the 1am flight on thursday. yeah. tonight lah.

i have basically..nothing to say. cos..i've haven't been doing much these days.
oh! i sprained my ankle. THANKS AH DUA PUI SAI! ==
and..i just took my MT olevel exam ytd. it sucks. but..nvm la. who cares? chinese. lol. sigh.

~ to...THE FAT ONE..~

i'm sorry..next time i won't ask so many times le. maybe i won't ask le lah. sigh. i'm always making you feel like that. stupid me.
sigh. must sms me when you're back okay?
i promised not to say anything THAT here.
so..yeah. take care okay? byebye. (:

Sunday, November 1, 2009 ; 8:22 PM

hmm. today is flashback day. have been doing my promotion speech these days and also the ppt slides. dug up some photos. yeah. brought back many many memories and all the stuff i've been through with my friends. haha. sweet memories. and also my glorious days. XD. let's see...

THAT'S ME BABY! THE PARADE COMMANDER!

OH YEAH~ YOU LISTEN TO MY COMMAND!

WOOTS. that's me. the glorious old me. yeah.

Sec 3 adventure camp. quite a load of fun. yeah. haha. thats me tryna jump off the jetty with a stun. xD

That's me at the front and wassim behind me. this wasn't really fun larhs. but..yeah. must pose for the camera mah. :X

HOHO! Sec 2 melaka trip. that's the puddycat beside me. felix tan. lol. he dyed his hair. forgot to take photo with him. now he is the lion king. mai siao siao.

haha. those are the more interesting ones. there's still more. but..yeah..lazy. sigh. so emo. :(

nvm. that's all for today. bye~

Saturday, October 31, 2009 ; 7:55 PM

hmm. nerve tear nerve tear. aww. its alright. don't give a shit.
well, you promised me uh. don't forget. and i shall promise you too!
it's a good move to keep me concentrated on my studies. and also train my endurance. yeah. endure your stubborness. and can also train my heart cos you never fail to increase my blood pressure. :P
i will keep to my promise. i hope you would too. :) you will right?
well now, i don't know whether you really are busy or not, but..no matter how busy you are, you MUST sms me. okay? let me know that you are there. if not pringles will rot.
you're all that i care for now. and i mean it with my heart. my Octish heart. pringles don't have a heart do they? :/ it'll taste weird.
yeah. you're all the i care for. all i'm thinking about now, is you. past, present, future. (:
and also a bit for my o levels. but, 99% you. (:
im serious okay? not tryna be sweet or smth. i'm really saying what my heart feels. believe me kay?
your big day is in 8 days! wahaha. haven't really planned for it. but..i'll try okay? have been thinking about how to make it a nice one for you. sigh. shall rack my brains. (: just for you. hehe.

i'm all you. hurhur. :)

Friday, October 30, 2009 ; 3:50 PM

today..not a very nice day.
some parts were nice. like the farewell. and going up to get my medal.
others..sucks.
went to school early. was in a good mood. why? you made me happy ytd. i was moody. but yet you lifted me up. you know why. (:
today. went to school. saw you. sweet. talked to my friends awhile. turned to find you. yeah. still there. but it sucked this time. cos he was there. shit that.
i tried to keep my smile. i couldn't. i really couldn't. i looked away. i walked away. pissed.
walked back with my friends as classroom wasn't opened yet. STILL THERE. WTF.
damn sian. damn damn damn sian. ugh.
went back to class. felt like crying.
HL. my time to express my anger. i ran. it hurt. my heart hurt. my hip hurt. but it felt good. the pain at the hip covered the pain at my heart.
after that. report books. best. B3 B3 A1 A1 A1 A1 A2 A1.
happy. happy. happy. though the A2..yeah. kinda ruined the fun.
10.30. went down. saw you. nth changed. you brought me down again. you brought me down again...
it felt so bad. i felt so bad. i wished i could have blacked out. it hurt so much. the pain..so immense..i could cry. i really could. i'm weak with you ard. you are my kryptonite. i went to the piss room. "let it go" i told myself. "F you. let it go. you weakling." not YOU. me. i meant ME. splashed water at my face. "wake up moron."
i left school immediately. i didn't want to peek. i know you are there. i don't want to see. cos i know he will be there too. i left.
i felt like SHIT. SHIT. S-H-I-T.
i went balling. pushed my injury. it hurt. very badly. i didn't show. but it hurt. what could i do? i was tired. i was pissed. i was hurt.
now i can't really walk. i know you'll be pissed with this. but. i really don't know what to do. cry? nah. sick of it.
i know im a damn sucker. i think so too. i know this may spoil our relationship. i can't think of any way else. tell jd? he won't understand a shit.
sigh. this is the last. i won't post anymore shit next time. the next time, i'll just let it pierce. i'll shut my trap. you won't know anything. i don't want to complain anymore. i don't want to give you troubles. i don't want to piss you off. annoy you off. don't want to make you busier. now with scmc, i guess you'll be much more busy. hah. will you have time for us? sigh. i can't imagine what we'll be. what will you be getting aft all the work? 10hrs CIP and 1 CCA point. lol. so worth it.
you're gonna work extra hard. lol. studies? no. scmc. lol. okay. i shall also work extra hard too. to shut my damn trap.
but hey. i still trust you. to the max and more. you can't be other peoples. you are mine.
you told me you wouldn't mind me meeting others on our journey to 27. but..i mind. i mind for myself. and for you. especially for you. I STRONGLY OBJECT anyone to touch you. (:
it's selfish. but..hey! its just talk la. haha. can i do anything about it? your heart. your decision.
i'll just say smth to make me feel better. lol. so pathetic.
i think this time, when you see this post, you'll be pissed. or annoyed. i'll apologise in advance. this will be the last. actually, i don't know how you feel everytime you read my crap. but..it can't be a good feeling. so i really wanna apologise. last.
no more. no more crap for you. let the road in front of you be crapfree so that you can do your stuff. I shall be by the side of the road supporting you. and will try my best to keep your road clear of any obstacles. hah. all the best.

i know i'm a shit can of pringles. open up. all shit. haha.

is that day coming? don't please. i really love her.

Thursday, October 29, 2009 ; 9:05 PM

kay. i guess there's too much things to post. so..i shan't post them. things have been rough and smooth these days. its driving me nuts. serious. can die.
when its rough..someone will make it smooth. but when it's smooth, i would make it rough. probably cos im too possessive. i don't mean it..but i just can't hold back that feeling. i really sorry for causing these shit. for making you overwhelmed. i myself have been overwhelmed too. with remorse. i've been telling myself, "let it go", "let it go", "let it go", "let it go", "let it go", "let it go", but..in the end, i find myself hugging tigger and hippo, tossing around in the bed, with extremely fast and pounding heartbeats. am i sick? o.o

im super fit with 55 heartbeats per minute. how can i be sick? love sick? probably. sigh.

i......i just can't take the fact that you can talk to them just like that, or like go out with them just like that. when i can't even get you to talk on the phone. ugh. maybe that shows that i mean something to you? is it? give me an answer.
sian. O levels chinese paper around the corner. feel so slack. can't lift myself up to study for it. BUT. its olevels for F sake! oh man. my future. my dear future. what am i gonna do?..argh.
tmr is the last day of school. report book. boring la. seen so many As. after report books..nth else. bkb? home? lib? don't know where to go. all i can think of now is.."where will you be going?", "with who?" and i will be praying that it would not be with that guy. but. i can't say that can i? who am i to say that. im just some crap at the side who only knows how to complain. how to create more crap. and make people pissed. make people annoyed. sigh.
why am i like that? f man. i don't know if i could wait 12 years more. 27. lol. maybe you didn't mean it. but i can wait. i believe i can. i think i can..sigh.
tomorrow. sian. really sian. i want to see you. i want to see you stick your head around to find me. it makes me relieved. but..how long do i have to wait to see this again? next year? probably you'll be sticking your head to find me but i'll be sticking my head downwards reading my text. *shakes head*
we'll see how it goes.
i dread the day that i lose you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009 ; 7:51 PM

sian.
stuck at home with a injured thigh, sunburns and whole body muscleaches.
the feeling sucks.
have been crying myself to sleep these days. i miss you. i really really do. why can't you just come back into my dreams and at least let me see you once more? everyday, i wake up eyes swollen, head dizzy. it feels really bad. and the feeling isn't nice. come back please..i really wanna see you once once more. many things have happened without you around. i miss the moment where i open the house door and see you sleeping on the sofa. i miss the moment where you have a ciggy in one hand and a bunch of vege in the other hand although it really harms our health, but i really miss it. i really really miss you. please..i beg you..appear in my dreams just once..please..
what's getting into me these days? why is there always a feeling of insecurity overwhelming me? probably they were right. you kind of like to hang about with women. i trust her. but..i don't like it. it's like every girl you also want to pao. zz. shit is happening. yeah.
this sucks. i'm signing off.

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Friday, October 9, 2009 ; 8:43 PM

fweeeeeeeeeyo! exams are freaking over baby!
woah..that was some tough time. so bloody much stuff to mug. knn. memorise memorise memorise. head burst man.
today had paper at 11 - 12.
after paper...FROOOMMMM. seoul garden. eat and eat and eat. we freaking ate the whole tub of garlic chicken. lol.
we just kept eating and eating. it was okay okay only lah. not very worth it. lol.
was damn damn full then went walking around with reuben. felt better. and next stop? 806 BASKETBALL COURT. went there to own. hahahaha. jkjk.
felt so damn nice. so long never bkb. was jumping around at my maximum. jump until leg cramp. ==.
now resting while using OSIM iSqueeze massage leg. shiok.

well, exams are finally finally over..except for one last paper in november. Olevels chinese paper. sigh. big exam.

shall thank some people for supporting me during the tough times.
isn't it pressy? haha.

and of course..., Phandar Jr. haha. don't comp so much lah. tsktsktsk.

you coloured my life when it was dull. you made me wake up when i felt sleepy and made me feel better when i was moody and tired. it really really helped me. and i really really wanna thank you. (:

okay bahs. shall end here. :D

gonna bkb again tmr morning at fushan yeah! then afternoon going to queensway with ah ong and that china boy. XPP.

byebye~~

爱死你了! hehe.